Managing Holiday Stress

Christmas Bubble Glass Stars Christmas Tree

Holidays are expected to be a time of celebration; a time to relax, reflect, and be with those we love the most. The final quarter of the year floods us with one holiday after another; each one with their own unique demands on our time, energy, and wallet. There are beautiful decorations, delicious foods, music, and costumes to highlight each special occasion. We can’t escape them. Even if we don’t celebrate them personally, we must still endure the long lines at the stores and compete for a space in the parking lot. The reminders are all around us that it is time for the festivities to begin.

Most of us participate in holiday celebrations on some level. We can usually find something about the occasion that appeals to us and enriches our life. Even Scrooge and the Grinch eventually came around. However, we can’t deny that these occasions of merriment can also be times of stress. When the stress exceeds the joy, we need to reassess our expectations of others and ourselves. There are many reasons why our holidays may not be happy. I highlight some of them in the paragraphs that follow.

Time and money are two things that should be easy for us to manage. They are both about numbers and numbers are predictable. Basic math demonstrates that 24 hours take away 24 hours leaves us with no time in the day. Moreover, that $100 minus $120 dollars means that I am $20 overdrawn. Still, we expect our time and money to go further than reality proves it will. Getting realistic about numbers can help us implement some strategies for managing these two important areas of our life. Simply, don’t exceed your limits. Plan ahead to save money for purchases and don’t expect yourself to do more than time will allow.

Normal people do not lead ideal lives. Normal people work, go to school, argue with their families, have flat tires, catch colds, etc. Even during the holidays, life goes on. Expecting otherwise will set you up for disappointment. Be realistic with your expectations of yourself and others based on what you have already learned. Acceptance is a coping skill that has been highly underrated. If you can’t change the situation, accept it and move on.

We notice our losses more at holidays than any other time of year. If you have lost a loved one due to separation, divorce, or death it will be hard to celebrate when you are still grieving. The first year following the loss is usually the worst. Every event seems to highlight the absence of the one you so desperately miss. Surround yourself with other family and friends who will support you and understand your grief.

Don’t want to celebrate? You don’t have to, it isn’t a requirement. If you have the day off and you are going to be home alone, make good use of the time. Catch up on movies you have been intending to rent, clean the closets, or get an early start on your taxes. Make positive use of the day in a way that will be meaningful in your life. Start some traditions of your own.

Whatever you do, don’t spend the season rolling in unhappy memories of holidays past. This year begin to create some new memories for the years ahead. This may require you to say “no” to invitations you once felt obligated to accept or to take responsibility for breaking traditions that have long held you hostage. Don’t be a passive casualty to another holiday run amuck. Take the initiative and create the season in a fashion tailored to you and your unique lifestyle.

This year may you truly have a Happy Halloween, Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year.

Steven Davidson is a licensed psychotherapist and certified sex therapist with offices in Madison and Belle Meade, TN. To schedule a consultation, call 615-516-9806, or visit his website at http://www.nashvillepsychotherapy.com