Holiday Blues?

Lady Santa Claus With Gifts

The holiday season is the most intensely emotional time of the year. Thespectrums of emotions run from joy and love to depression and hate. While theseemotions certainly are around during the balance of the year, the holidayshighlight family issues, financial status, childhood experiences, performanceanxieties, and even the impact of "special event" eating and drinking.

Those who have difficulty with the holidays often have another stressor inthat they often suspend or put off asking for help in dealing with theirstruggles. It is a similar phenomenon to straying from a healthy diet till theholidays are over. I think that the issue for those who don´t seek assistancehas to do with expectations that all should be joyful during that time of theyear. So, not only are there the usual stressors, but also the unrealisticexpectation that we shouldn´t be stressed in the first place, combined with areluctance to seek support until the holidays are over.

Here are some strategies for dealing with the stress of the holidayseason:

  • Don´t expect more from yourself than usual. Our bodies and minds like to bein familiar waters. We are creatures of habit. It is a comfort level thing thatwe often throw off kilter with our unrealistic expectations for the holidays.Frequently ask yourself if you are comfortable with what you have planned, andadjust accordingly.
  • Share the full range of who you are and how you are doing with those who younormally trust. Don´t give up your usual support system of friends, family, andeven a counselor during the holidays. Take the time to share and listen to howthings really are. Another side to this is to be careful of what you expect ofyour relationship with others, those with whom you don´t normally share.
  • Acknowledge losses and also embrace what the future can be. The holidays canbe a reminder of what we have lost. These losses can range from relationshipslike divorce to the death of a loved one. As with the rest of the year, it isimportant to acknowledge and share your feelings about the loss. This will makeit easier to look forward to what can and will be.
  • Volunteer to help others. Whether this is through a structured volunteerorganization or just random acts of kindness, just do it. Helping others gets usout of our own heads for a while, gives us perspective on our lives, and justfeels good.
  • Be realistic with your spending by stressing the gifts of love, caring, andtime together. This is a tough one for many. We are now being bombarded by themessage that buying gifts for others equals love and caring. The companion issueto this is spending so much that we pay a heavy price after the holidays, andthat is no gift to ourselves. Given that we are creatures of habit, just trymaking a small change in these habits. Suggest that we include one personallyhandmade gift. Make sure that if you want to communicate love, tell them. Knowhow much in bills you can handle after the holidays and spend accordingly.
  • Don´t stray too far from your normal eating and drinking habits. We often"beat ourselves up" or "pay the price" for our unusual consumption behaviorduring the holidays. We use those phrases flippantly, but they are all too realin how they affect ourselves and others. Stay within your known limits for asmoother holiday season.
  • Give yourself a gift. Take a special walk; have a massage; read that bookyou have wanted to read; write that letter; or buy that gift for yourself. Theholidays are a time to give. You are special, so be nice to yourself.

Steve Thayer is a California State Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist,Certified Financial PlannerTM, and co-owner of http://www.MyVitalFiles.com, a HomeFiling Solutions Company. He has written articles for various publications for30 years, and besides working in counseling and financial consulting, his goalis to help make life less tedious and more fulfilling for people by developingpaperwork filing solutions.

You may contact him at http://www.MyVitalFiles.com and steve@MyVitalFiles.com.

© Steve Thayer 2007 All rights Reserved - May not be copied or distributedwithout the author´s permission.